NEOCONDOM   Foreign Fighters Links Sign Up Storm Troops Think Tank Neocondom is what you get when the Neocons get into control.  They are our enemies!       The Neocons are not very nice people, in fact, they are nastier that even us.  There is a very strong rumour going around that they are not human, but are actually surgically altered Cardassians.  Their tactics in the Middle East seem very Cardassian in nature and they certainly have the stiff necks to go with it.  At a press conference in front of the usual tame journalists, Gul Rumsfeld denied the rumours, and said that he doesn't even like fish juice.   The Lime Beer Liberation Army today formally took over training responsibilites for the Foreign Fighters, stating that is was not sufficient to wait for friendly fire incidents to take care of the enemy.  They have arranged for Calamity and Homo from the Fux Spews Chunder, the news circus you can thrust, to give lectures on 'how to become a complete and utter extreme right wing bastard' and 'my country, wrong or wrong'.   The Holy Webmaster denied reports that he was thinking of sending Frankie Avalon into battle with his troops, clearly stating that Frankie had been determined to be a WMD and was contrary to the rules and usages of war.  Foreign Fighters have found it sufficient to paint 'Dee Dee Dinah' on walls and buildings that they don't want the coalition of the underpinning to go near.  Works like a charm.     Now confess, Genocide General My-errs, you were thinking of legging it to Canada, wern't you?  Confess, confess, CONFESS!       Saint Bill of Holy Redmond denied today that he is in complete control of the U.S.  "There are still some Linux Bandits holding out in the hills around the Red Hat factory, and one or two Congressmen still have the occasional independent thought," he said, "And we aren't the least bit worried about Mandrake Linux buying out Connectiva Linux in Brazil, I have patented the Monroe Doctrine.  Typical of the French, though.  If I knew where Brazil was, I'd send in my goons who are not Foreign Fighters and only use torture that is not torture."   The 4th Annual Illegal Battlefield Combatant Annual Picnic will be held this year at Camp X-ray on a date to be fixed.  If you have been held without trial, tortured, and are being denied the provisions of the Geneva Convention, then this party is for you.  Outsourced and phantom prisoners will have to make their travel arrangements early.  Those who wish to travel blindfolded and tied to each side of an aircraft's interior are reminded that vacancies are limited.  If you now require wheelchair access, are half drowned, or are on life support, please let us know in advance or you could miss out.  Bookings for the naked human pyramid or the simulated sex acts will also need to be in early.  If you want to have some short-arse U.S. military bint point at your genitals let the front desk know.  Non-halal food will be served as usual, and forced drinking of alcohol will take place every evening.  Let the front desk know your dog collar size to save time later.  This is your once-a-year opportunity to show how you love your new found liberty!     We are sure you will like this new, larger cell!  At Camp X-ray, we care!   Foreign Fighters Links Sign Up Storm Troops Think Tank Copyright (C) 2005 Brian Brett.  All Rights Reserved.